The future is nonsense

Filed under Notes on 17. February 2007 »

I’ve been going through a bit of turmoil today, unease coming in seemingly from nowhere to slap me around a bit. And as this is an ongoing practice, with these old conditioned thoughts and beliefs coming up in waves again and again, I have certain methods that I use to process them. Writing in my journal, taking walks, reading books, and constantly observing and questioning the thoughts that go through the mind. And don’t think that it's nearly as elegant as it may sound; it is a backwards stumble in the dark, at best. But this is how it works, and usually after a certain amount of suffering I have a realization. Always the same, ultimately, but gradually the realization becomes deeper and deeper.

As I remember Wayne Dyer saying in one of his talks, that “when you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. And when you are squeezed, whatever is in there is what comes out.” I’m sure he said it more elegantly, but the point is that when you are challenged, in other words when the world gives you a squeeze, whatever you have inside will come out. If you have repressed anger, it will come out in one form or the other. Maybe in a sudden flash of energy, or maybe in a slow, painful seepage (yummy metaphors here). In any case, whatever is left in you of pain and attachment to form will be beaten out of you by the challenges of the world. Or we could say that the world will keep pushing your buttons until it gets the combination right and everything blows up and disintegrates.

After hours of journaling, walking, reading, listening, etc., I finally came to a peaceful realization, during my walk, about a certain thing I had been clinging to. Generally speaking, it was the realization that I had to let go of future and thus to let go of attachment to thoughts, plans, and beliefs. To be at peace with not knowing what will happen, and to give myself up completely. Not minding what happens, as Krishnamurti put it. And as I said, this is nothing new. We’ve all read about letting go of future — this is all I ever write about, really. But it is one thing to grasp it on a conceptual level and quite another to have a deep realization, to know it as opposed to merely knowing about it. It’s amazing how resilient the mind is in clinging to its attachments and thoughts about the future, and until you really feel that you do not mind what happens there is an attachment somewhere whether you realize it or not.

Shortly after having had this realization, or rather after having entered the beginning of that realization — it is still going on slowly as I write this — I reached for my little pocket version of the Tao Te Ching and begun reading immediately where I opened it:

A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
A good artist lets his intuition
lead him wherever it wants.
A good scientist has freed himself of concepts
and keeps his mind open to what is.

What a beautiful thing it is to have no fixed plans, and to be free of the illusion of future. Not in a way that you cannot do anything, or have plans on a superficial level, but rather seeing that whatever plans you may have are utterly unimportant compared to the reality of life itself. That whatever thoughts you have about any situation could not possibly be more right than life, which is a realization that brings with it a sense of humility and gratitude. Humility that then replaces the old arrogance of believing that your thoughts and perceptions are superior to reality itself.

And when you see this, there is no need for clinging to future anymore. No need for having to figure anything out, simply because you see that it is all illusion anyway. Every thought you have about the future is nonsense.

Isn’t that great?

Tags: awakening , surrender , tao te ching , thinking

Comments:

#1 » ianmack Feb 19, 12:49

I’ve attempted to ‘know’ this truth myself, that the future is irrelevant. to a certain extent, i believe i’ve succeeded — though i run into the inevitable argument with friends: how can you plan for the future if it’s all illusion? (ie. You’ll be sorry you felt the future was illusion when it comes time for retirement).

I wonder what your thoughts would be for the pragmatist?

#2 » Demk Feb 19, 16:06

Its crazy how the world can rough you up a bit every time you think you have it. I don’t mind the frustrating periods anymore because I’m so used to learning and growing, at an exponential rate now. Every bad mood is a chance to become more conscious and release more thoughts and feelings.

I totally get not having plans too. My ideas about the future change every day. I just try to maintain a state of consciousness where I know good things are going to flow to me. I have faith that Life is going to bring me something I will enjoy.

#3 » Helgi Feb 21, 08:14

Ian: The real issue here is how thoughts about the future are affecting you in the present moment. It’s perfectly fine to plan for the future as long as you aren’t seeking fulfillment in it — when you are seeking fulfillment in the future, by wanting to arrive somewhere, etc., it will occupy way more of your attention than is necessary and cause you to suffer.

The wonderful contradiction is that only when you’ve realized that the reality of future is an illusion can you be effective in making plans for it.
A practical question to ask yourself whenever you are making plans is if there is anything in this plan you can do right at this moment. And this may be the action of setting up a retirement fund, etc., but once that is done you can let go of it.

Every moment is very simple: if anything needs to be done, you either do it or you don’t do it. And that’s it. It is a way of seeing the future in terms of the present moment, because that’s the only reality it is ever going to have.

Keith: Hehe, yeah. The more often you think you’ve made it, the more you see that there is no such thing as making it.

It’s a wonderful thing to discover when you can see the fluctuations as simply part of the process. I’m seeing this more and more clearly myself, and the beautiful thing is that these periods of suffering come up less and less, and are then processed/transformed pretty quickly when they do.

#4 » Demk Feb 21, 15:58

Yeah, its crazy how much momentum I’m actually gaining where growth is concerned. It seems like everyday I learn massive amounts. I gain new awareness to the workings of my ego and I learn how better to get what I want from life, from myself and how to live a beneficail, for-the-greater-good type life.

Sometimes I get too wrapped up in the practice of growing though. Its like I can’t let a thought pass without examining its relation to my identity before I just release it. Is there a mental heuristic that lets you shortcut all the enquiry? Eckhart Tolle says that all thoughts are egoic. Does this mean they are all destuctive and can be released/minndfully let go of? In my own psyche at the moment I am seeing this split between a sort of higher mind and lower mind, the lower being the thoughts that are affected by ego and primarily function to reinforce my identity in some way, and the higher being the thoughts that recognise this. Hmm…Maybe compassion and love arise from the awareness because I dont see the higher mind as being more loving, just a more sophisticated and self aware process of the intellect. Then again the higher mind does seem more inclined towards virtue. Maybe it is in fact more in contact with Source.

What do you think of this higher/lower mind metaphor? I heard a psychologist said that the subject at the lower stage of development becomes the object of the next stage of development. Have you had any experience with this yourself?

Sorry for nearly writing an essay on your blog btw lol. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

#5 » Helgi Feb 23, 16:11

Yes, I’m most definitely familiar with this. And as I see it, there are two kinds of thought — bascially as you described it: thought that arises from conceptual thinking (lower mind), and thought that arises from being/stillness/God (higher mind). These can mix together — you are thinking about some problem that needs to be solved, and then suddenly you have an insight: when this happens, the thinking mind has slowed down enough to make room for inspired thought to flow in.

Thought is not inherently egoic, but identification with thought is what the ego is all about. It’s helpful to look at thinking as a tool; can be useful and practical, but has nothing to do with who you are.

Here in this is a trap many people fall into, and I certainly know I have, which is to attempt to repress thoughts. To judge thoughts as bad, and attempt to get rid of them.
All that is needed is to see thoughts for what they are. You can have an endless stream of thoughts going through your head and still be at peace, if you are not identified with the thoughts. However, when you are no longer identified with them the mind tends to quiet down.

One of the traps I seem to fall into again and again is to get lured into a stream of positive thoughts, optimistic thoughts that are fairly innocent in and of themselves, that then inevitably take a negative turn when allowed to proliferate. This is because the mind gains momentum, which feeds the unconscious old thought patterns of ego and form identification.

So now I’m slowly learning that there needs to be a constant and vigilant awareness, and that getting lost in positive thoughts is not much different from getting lost in negative thoughts: two sides of the same coin.

And a good indicator of thoughts that belong to the lower mind is that they are noisy, conceptual, and repetitive. Inspired thoughts are always quiet, at a pre-verbal level somehow, and so the level of mental noise is always a good indicator regardless of whether the content of those thoughts is positive or negative.

Hmm. Whatever the subject, the solution always leads to nothing. (i.e. stillness, being, etc.)

#6 » Demk Feb 24, 08:32

Thanks for the response. Just some thoughts from reading it.

.......

As I have been meditating recently I have been becoming much more lucid. This increase in mental energy has meant I am able to take every thought and intellectualise it and decribe exactly how it functions in building my identity. My conclusion after doing this for a few weeks is that there is ego in every single thought. I have found that although it is good to have a good understanding of the way every thought creates the fictional identity, constantly anylising becomes mental masterbation. It may be true that my identity became more “higher minded” and identified with more virtue but it is still an ego that needs constant feeding with thoughts. The mind loves to solve problems, even the problem of itself…but it can’t actually solve the problem. I see now that it would continue solving and perfecting forever and I would have done anything except think and write in my journal and reduce every experience to a mental witch-hunt to exterminate “ego”.

.......

Positive thoughts can suck just as much energy in my opinion. They can be cool but ususally they are unrealistic representaions of reality and you only buy into them because they massage the aspects of your (conceptual) identity that you like most. I have also found they always do damage eventually. I wouldnt say I was arrogant but i do have a tendency towards the odd fantastical daydream that implies a slightly inflated sense of self lol. Oh well, nothing too unusual and at least i’m aware of it haha.

.......

Something I have noticed about preverbal thoughts is that you have this knowing. It is as if you undertand the situation even before you understand it verbally, but then your mind comes in and takes credit for it. Its as if you know but then your mind comes in and says it out loud so you can get this sense of pride in working it out. The truth is you can’t really take credit for a phenomena that occured inside you, after all you didnt create yourself from scratch lol. Like you say, it is the identification with the thought, the ownership of it, that creates the problems.

What is the best way, in your experience, to really settle into the identification with spirit? At the moment my meditation practices include Zazen daily, a meditation where i release thoughts and emotions and a meditation to spend time in appreciation. Maybe if i simply bear in mind that the presence that I am releasing thoughts/emotions from is my real identity it will sink in…What do you think?

.......

Love the site btw…Keep up the good work.

#7 » Helgi Feb 25, 14:20

I think, ironically, that what it comes down to is always the absence of thinking. And I feel it’s true what you say about the ego simply becoming more and more sophisticated as you keep analyzing — the analysis is always just a pointer, and eventually it must all point to that which is beyond words, concepts and analysis. All reading, writing, practicing, is just a way of pointing yourself to a place where there are no words or concepts.

So as I see it the best way of settling into identification with spirit is to become still. And then there are all these books, methods, and meditation practices to point to that state of stillness. You can only really know this identification on a deeper level beyond thought.

It’s really about finding your way into stillness over and over and over again, heightening the level of awareness each time, until stillness takes over completely so that you are permanently connected to it.

Another thing you might find useful: I’ve been discovering now this idea of non-action, and how it can function as a very powerful pointer to stillness. I wrote about it in another note — basically it is simply to not do anything, but instead to allow action to arise and come through you. This means that you stop thinking, but allow thought to flow through you; stop speaking, but allow words to come through you, etc. Which may mean that you find yourself not speaking when spoken to, or not doing something you are expected to do. But it is a matter of trusting that whatever comes out of the stillness is the right action.

So it is the decision to never do/think/speak ever again, but instead to allow being to do/think/speak through you however and whenever it will. Maybe it will build houses, or maybe not. Maybe it will say something, or maybe it won’t.
This is what surrender is about, ultimately. To give yourself up to God.

And I suppose it is a decision one must make again and again, until it sticks.

#8 » Demk Feb 25, 15:31

Recently I have been gaining momentum with meditation but, as I say, wasting it with more (sophisticated yet still egoic) thought. Its tempting to dive into some fun analysis and thought but until I can maintain my Presence there will always be ego mixed up with it (maybe there always will be ego in all thought…what is your opinion of that?). Egos love the identity of the intelligent person. Its quite an attractive idea to be. I dont want to be addicted to solving “intellectual” problems for the sake of it though, I want to live my life haha…

Recently I have had this urge to come to the end of my seeking and do this whole thing right. When you make that decision to actually do the things that will work and enable you to live the life you want to live and be the person you want to be, Things seem to fall into place and everything takes off exponentially.

Cheers for batting these ideas around with me btw. If you ever want to sound some ideas just drop us an email. One last thing though…I’ve been trying to stay present recently when I draw and paint which presents a problem. How do you deal with the problem of daydreaming while you create? The more daydreamy brain wave states are supposed to be associated with creativity. I can’t seemt o stay present at all when I make stuff lol. I tried setting atimer but it faded into the background pretty quickly. Have you any experience with this???

#9 » Helgi Mar 1, 11:49

I think thinking isn’t egoic until there is an identification with it. But I don’t know really. When the identification goes away, thought becomes quieter and not in the service of self. I heard Eckhart Tolle talk about David Hawking, the physicist, and about how he does lots and lots of thinking without any of it being self-serving. He has lost the self-identification through his physical condition, but thinking still operates (and very effectively at that!).

I hear you with the urge to come to the end of seeking. I feel it very strongly now, that this is enough. And during this stage the pain-body can come up in strong waves: the ego is fighting for its survival. It has so little left to cling to, that the fear seems to be more intense and desperate. But all part of the process, ultimately.

Daydreaming while creating — when I’m not feeding my entertainment addiction with spoken word audio, the daydreaming comes in to fill up the space :)

I’m fantastically imperfect in all of this, but there are some things to consider. One of them is focusing on what you are doing without labels, just looking at colors and shapes and allowing all of it to be without concepts.
Another helpful thing is to put a lot of your focus within, and perceiving the world (and what you are creating) as only 5% or so of your whole experience. So, you could imagine that 95% of your attention is within, and 5% on the world. I’ve found this to be a very helpful pointer in general, and actually have the letters 95/5 as the desktop background on my computer as a reminder.

Entirely my pleasure to chat about all of this. It can be very helpful to discuss it, and I certainly don’t talk about this much to people around me. So I greatly appreciate the comments.

#10 » Demk Mar 1, 13:04

Your right, it is the identification that saps the energy. Recently over the past couple of days I have been experiencing the Presence more and more and feeling as if that is my true self. When you are totally rooted in that sense of Being then thought is no longer egoic I suppose. Until then it seems as if every thought is taken by the ego’s processes and used to make you feel like more. Even thinking about how the ego operates becomes more ego (what I called the higher mind, a term I have now relinquished because it was simply a more intellectual conceptual self).

I have read a book recently called Stripping the Gurus (its free http://www.strippingthegurus.com/) which has criticism of many of the gurus who you would assume were perfect because of their enlightenments. It seems that most are pretty fallible. The desire for power over others must be a massive temptation when you are in a guru position though. It makes me wonder whether the ego processes are still there and identifications are silently being made. Then if/when you reidentify with the mind there is this new ego there waiting for you, one that thinks that it is actually perfect which is a scary thing. After that how would a person know if their thoughts were egoic or not. It makes me wonder whether people who want to be a guru really want power over others and admirition so it is a narcissistic urge that propels them to seek enlightement. That same urge could be their downfall. I personally don’t believe in gurus because I don’t really see many humans being able to defend against the corrupting influence of power of others. I dont know whether I would be able to deal with it. The real change is going to come from everyday people awakening, not better leaders imho. People who want power have huge egos anyway so gurus are always going to be flawed. A nation of conscious poeple though will always triumph.

.......

I have been working on the problem of staying conscious while working recently. Through practising Zazen I have found that the fastest way for me to enter a conscious/alpha-brainwave state from a daydreaming state is through watching my diaphragm as I am breathing. After practising other forms of meditation too such as body awareness I have realised that the fastest way to build up presence power is through taking one practice and mastering it. Tolle talks about different “portals” in the power of now and also recomends mastering one. I have found that its best (for me) to simply concentrate on my breathing while I work.

I like the idea of having the majority of your attention within and on the field of Presence. I find that I naturally identify with spirit when the majority of my attention is on it. Thoughts are then always seen as things that happen inside me.

#11 » Mors Mar 1, 14:33

While I believe that meditation and turning inward are important and good, I don’t think going too far within yourself is necessarily a good thing. Far too often I find myself oblivious to those around me, whether it be lost in thought, meditating, or daydreaming. While not a problem in itself, spending a lot of time locked in my own mind feels a bit claustrophobic. I find that it is better to be present here and now than to be lost in my own mind unless I am actually meditating on something. I spent many years selfishly turned inwards and I missed many opportunities to help others because I was wrapped up in my own head. Stillness, calm, peace, they all appeal to me. Reducing my thought patterns down to mere shapes doesn’t really. Perhaps it’s the ego talking, but I think it would be more helpful to try and observe and gently corral our thoughts. To try and catch ourselves more often when we are thinking negative, selfish, or egoistic thoughts. I have noticed with my thoughts concerning my fiance that I am often tempted to selfish thoughts and I have to identify that thought as selfish and kill it rather than trying to reach a state of unthought. It seems like it would be more productive to try my best to think of others and put them above myself both in my actions and in my thoughts than to attempt to remove my ego from my thoughts entirely. I would much rather spend my meditation thinking about something, whether it be examining my thoughts, actions, and attitudes looking for ways to strengthen my true, inner self or thinking of practical ways to improve the lives of others. The inward journey is very important, but the outward journey I think should be even more important. If you achieve inner stillness and succeed in banishing all thought down to pre-conceptual images, where are you going to do with it? I’m not trying to be rude or contrarian, but I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around what you’ve both been saying and I just can’t seem to get it to jive with my vision of the true inner self I want to be. Perhaps I have just not reached the level where this makes sense or perhaps this type of meditation just isn’t for everyone.

#12 » Helgi Mar 3, 16:50

demk: Wanting to be a guru is always of the ego — one potential criteria is to ask, how would that teacher react if he or she suddenly lost his or her reputation? I.e., how would that teacher take to suddenly being a nobody in the world?

There is an overabundance of false teachers out there, but then there is also the possibility of a teacher temporarily falling into an ego pattern, especially when everyone is telling them they are special. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything he ever said was false, or that he is confined forever to the ‘fallen guru’ category.

And you can always tell when a teacher is speaking from presence or not. Even if you don’t realize it immediately, there is something within you that recognizes it. And when awareness has reached a certain level, you start to see very clearly whether or not a teaching is true or false — i.e., whether you are looking at the sun, or if it is just somebody in the dark waving a flashlight. The difference is really that vast!

I think the best way to approach the whole guru phenomenon is to absorb the teaching without attaching it to the teacher in particular. The culture around the most famous teachers will always be excessive and attempt to make the teacher special, but it is more useful not to regard the teacher as special at all. He is just there to allow the teaching to come through, and isn’t really important at all as a person.

In that way you can find pointers to the truth all over the place without getting attached to any one particular channel.

Mors: It may sound selfish, but when you go deeper into it you will find that it is the opposite of selfish. Look at it this way: you may withdraw from people on the surface level, but then instead you meet them at a much deeper level. I wrote about this in more detail in an article called On Introversion that you can find in the archives.

The reason why you can’t seem to wrap your mind around all of this is perfectly fine — the mind doesn’t have to understand this. Often it makes no sense whatsoever to the mind on the level of rational, conceptual thinking. It goes much, much deeper than that.

The inward journey is not a personal luxury that you indulge in at the cost of being of help to others — although it may seem paradoxical, practicing meditation alone in your room for an hour a day could be better for the common good than volunteering at a soup kitchen, or some other outwardly charitable thing, for that same hour.

You only need to be concerned with the inner, and then the outer will take care of itself. You then start doing charitable and helpful things spontaneously, instead of doing them out of a sense of duty. The giving/helping then arises from the level of cause, instead of being only on the surface level of effect.
In fact, you can only be of real service to others when you’ve found peace within yourself.

The future is nonsense

Filed under Notes on 17. February 2007 »

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